Reflections on Thirty Years of Marriage-Part 3

This is Part 3 of a series.  To start at the beginning, .click here.  To go to Part 2, click here.

7. Great Marriages Have Partners Who Complement Not Compete-We live in an extremely competitive society here in the U.S.  Whether in sports, the marketplace, or politics, people are encourage to compete at a high level.  You've always got to outdo the other guy.  While that may be fine in some arenas, when this competitive attitude leaches out into marriage relationships, it can be deadly.  I've observed this spirit in some relationships, and its really sad to see.  One partner always feels like he or she has to put down the other.  As a result, the other partner has to come back with a zinger, a cutting remark, a disdainful look.  Our culture feeds into this dichotomy.  TV Shows, movies, pop and country music, all revel in the classic put-down.  When the wife really takes down the husband, that really brings out the laughs.  But its a real marriage killer.  Rather than compete, great marriages have spouses who complement each other.  The dictionary states that the noun "complement" means to be a "thing that completes or brings to perfection."  The verb "to complement" means to "add to something in a way that enhances or improves it."  (Don't confuse this with "compliment"-although those are nice too!)  I think both of these definitions say it well.  Although every marriage is a little different, in almost all cases there are areas where one partner is strong and the other is weaker.  You see, the old adage about your marriage partner being "your other half" is really true!  A great marriage is one that enhances the strengths of each partner and diminishes the weaknesses. In our case, there are so many examples, but here's one.  My wife Kathy is a quick thinker.  I kind of plod along.  This is why she can beat me to answers when we watch Jeopardy on TV, but I can usually beat her at Scrabble, since it doesn't have a timer. (OK, so we're a little competitive!)  In things that really count, I value her superior processing speed, which is one thing that makes her a great nurse and helps if we have some kind of family emergency.  She tells me that my more methodical, slow way of evaluating a situation provides a balance to her (very occasional!) tendency to jump to conclusions.  

8.   Great Marriages Survive the Changing Seasons of Life-When I hear someone say that my wife (or my husband) just isn't the same person I married, I think "so what?"  In a way, none of us are really the same person we were ten, twenty, or thirty years ago that we are today.  Circumstances in life certainly change quite often, and these have a tendency to change us in ways that we don't often realize.  So you just have to adjust.  This has happened multiple times in our marriage. Just this last year, Kathy completed nursing school.  I've been so proud of her for being able to fulfill a latent dream that she had since she was a little girl.  During her school years, we had to adapt to the demands of her working two part-time jobs while going to nursing school.  Now that she has graduated, she is working as a hospital nurse several evenings a week, while I hold down my day job at the tire shop.  We may go several days of barely seeing each other.  To compensate, we use phone, email, and text to keep in touch. And I've tried to leave her a few little "tokens of love" when she comes in at night, which has meant a lot to her.  Which brings me to my final thought...

9. Great Marriages "Keep The Fire Burning!"- When I was reading in Leviticus this morning (yes, there really are good things in Leviticus!), a verse really stood out to me that seems to fit here.  Referring to the priestly duties of tending to the altar, it says "The fire on the altar shall be kept burning on it. It shall not go out,..." (Lev. 6:12).  There are many ways to look at this, but one way that I see this is like a marriage altar.  In fact, in most weddings, the couple say their vows at an "altar."  In a sense, the "marriage fire" is stoked at that place.  But, like any fire, if it's not tended to, it just naturally goes out!  In ancient Israel, the priest had to stoke the altar fire every morning and every evening.  No matter the weather. No matter how he felt.  The fire still had to be stoked.  The same goes for the "altar of marriage."  No matter the season of life, the "marriage fire" has to be tended to.  Oh, and by the way, the wife is the one with the thermometer!  I can go along thinking that everything is great (I inherited the "clueless" gene from bygone generations of Nall men!), but somewhere along the line I find out from my wife that the gauge on our marriage is reading "Low Fuel."  To change the metaphor slightly, I'm about to run our "marriage car" out of gas, and I had no clue!  (Oh, here's something else I've found--the fuel that made the car run great yesterday is no good today. But it could take a whole post to explain this one.  Maybe later!)  So, when I get the "low fuel" sign (or hopefully before it gets that low), I have to find creative ways to stoke the fire.  And this goes both ways.  My wife has done a far better job than me to "keep the home fires burning."  But I'm working on it!

Bottom line on marriage.  Being married and walking through life with another person is one of the most rewarding things God has given us to experience in this life.   But marriage does not have an autopilot button.  Every day of our thirty-plus years together, Kathy and I have enjoyed being married to each other, but we've had to work at it.  And if the Lord grants us another thirty years like our friends from church, we'll have to work just as hard at it.  But its been worth every minute!

Want to read more?  Here's links to some of my more popular posts:
Lincoln & Obama-Two Views of Welfare
TR on Lincoln-The Great Statesman
Put It On My Account

Reflections on Thirty Years of Marriage-Part 2

This is a continuation of a post from last week.  Click here for Part 1. 

4.  Great Marriages Study Each Other-You should be an expert on your spouse.  If I'm going to please my spouse, I'm going to have to know her likes and dislikes, her strengths and weaknesses.  One of the things that helped us early on in our marriage was a tape (remember tapes?) we heard of Dr. Gary Chapman on "The Five Love Languages."  (If you'd like to know more about this, here's a link to his website:  http://www.5lovelanguages.com/).  We discovered that some of the difficulties in the early years of our marriage had to do with the way we expressed love to each other.  I thought I was loving her in doing things that made me feel loved.  She was trying to love me in ways that made her feel loved.  Sometimes, this can go on for years with neither spouse really making a connection.  One example from our marriage:  I would love her with words of affirmation, as in telling her "I love you" often.  This was a good thing.  Couples should say this to each other often and we do this multiple times a day.  However, what she was really needing was for me to SHOW HER that I loved her by listening to her, by spending quality time with her.  Now, I thought I was listening to her, but I wasn't LISTENING to her!  I was hearing what she had to say, but not really paying attention the way I needed to.  And she didn't feel loved.  In fact, she felt very unloved.  My words of affirmation (my Love Language) were actually galling to her at times because I wasn't spending quality time (her Love Language) with her the way she needed.  Believe me, this is something we're still working on!  And by no means have I arrived.  But I hope that I'm listening better than I used to.  

5   Great Marriages Accept Each Other For Who They Are-a mistake that young couples often make is to try to mold each other into the person they'd like for them to be.  When people get married, they soon make the startling discovery that their spouses have faults!  The natural instinct is to try to fix the faults.  However, this is almost always counterproductive.  In fact, many marriages founder in the first few years because they haven't been able to learn to love the person that they're married to, faults and all.     In our marriage, when we discovered each other's faults (my many, her few!), we just had to adjust our expectations.  Over the years, we've just learned (and are continuing to learn) to accept each other in our own skins.  We're comfortable in each other's presence because we love each other just as he or she is. 

6.  Great Marriages Are Strengthened Through Trials-Let's face it-this life is going to have trials.  In fact, Jesus promised that "in this world, you shall have tribulations..." (John 16:33).  We've had our share...struggles with raising kids (including the additional challenges of raising adoptive and foster kids), struggles with health issues, struggles with family problems, struggles with money (pretty much all 30 years!).  Any or all of these could have blown our marriage apart if we had let it. However, I believe our faith in Christ (see #1 above!) made these seeming obstacles actually become a reason for us to lean on each other.  Kathy and I were cooks for five years in a church summer camp.  Our pastor, who was also a cook, had made a canopy to put over the outside equipment that was a real bear to put up!  It took a whole crew of men to put that canopy in place.  However, I remember Pastor Mike saying that the design of the canopy was such that when it stormed and the rain blew, the canopy actually became stronger.  Because the foundation was solid, it wouldn't go anywhere. I got to see this for myself one evening when we had a whale of storm blow up.  It was a real toad strangler, as the old folks used to say!  After the storm, I went back to see the canopy.  Sure enough, it was right there like it had always been! Nothing ripped. Nothing torn. As good a condition as before.   I look at that canopy like a marriage rooted in Christ.  The troubles that might blow some away actually become a source of strength for those whose marriage has a firm foundation.  As we look back at all we've gone through, our marriage is stronger because we made it through all these trials together.  We know, that whatever we face in the future, we will face them together. 

Want to read more?  To Read Part 3, click here.

Here's links to some of my more popular posts:

Lincoln & Obama-Two Views of Welfare

TR on Lincoln-The Great Statesman

Put It On My Account

 

Reflections On Thirty Years Of Marriage-Part 1

"...heirs together of the grace of life..." I Peter 3:7b 

Last November 26, Kathy and I celebrated 30 years of marriage.  That day in 1982 was a pretty unpretentious affair.  Neither of our parents had much money and neither did we.  The ladies from Mt. Paron Church in Fordyce, Arkansas helped decorate the church, a friend of the family made Kathy's dress, and I wore an old suit.  One of the members of the church paid for the reception, which was held in the lunchroom next door.  We had some friends who sang together make a tape for us of hymns, which we played as people came in, and they sang "Sweet, Sweet Spirit" a capella for the processional.

We had only known each other six months.  We were so young!  I was 18 and she was 21.  We had met at my home in Dothan, Alabama, when her dad brought her and the rest of the family on a preaching trip back in May.  I took my last exam in high school on a Thursday morning and met Kathy that afternoon.  I won't say it was love at first sight, but it was pretty close!  There was just something there between us from the very first.  I don't know how we knew this, but at the end of that week she was in Alabama, we knew that we were supposed to be together.  We were engaged at the end that week (although we kept it a secret for a month)   and married six months later.  Most people wouldn't look on this as a recipe for a successful marriage, but I can say that the results are in---it most definitely has worked out!

When I look around me at the cultural landscape, I see a vastly different scene than the one of thirty years ago.  What was just beginning at that time, has since become a tsunami of destruction towards marriage and family.  Commitment seems to be a forgotten virtue, replaced by self-fulfillment and individualism.  As a result, the landscape is littered with broken marriages and broken homes.  The idea of a man and woman in a life-long committed relationship seems hopelessly out-of-date, but it's the younger generation that is paying for the "new normal." Holidays become hopelessly confusing.  I remember talking to a man last November who was telling me about his son and daughter-in-law trying to make four different Thanksgiving dinners because of two sets of divorced parents.  This is all too common now.  As a result of this, young people are eschewing the very idea of marriage and adopting live-in arrangements (what used to be derisively called "shacking up). In most of these unmarried households, the "'til death do us part" commitment is replaced with "I'll fulfill your needs as long as you fulfill my needs!"

But is there a better way?  I think so.  As a matter of fact, after thirty years of sharing life together, I can say that I know so!  There is something about a committed relationship that is wonderfully freeing.  You don't have to worry about whether that person is going to be around a year from now or ten years or twenty years.  We both know that, by God's grace, we'll be together until the Lord decides to take one of us home.  But, does a committed relationship just happen?  Is it just because we were just that right match that we somehow by accident ended up thirty years together?  We have a couple in our church that has been together sixty years, doubling our longevity.  Do you think that just happened to them?  Certainly not!  I believe there are some principles that under gird most successful marriages that have largely gone unrecognized.  I'd like to share some of these principles with you here:

1. Great marriages have a firm foundation.  That foundation of our marriage, and the only one that I've found to survive the test of time, is faith in Christ.  Our faith is our bedrock.  It's what most binds us together and what makes our marriage work.  In fact, scripture teaches that marriage itself was put in place to show the love of Christ for His church (Eph. 5:25).  Our marriage is not just here  for us.  It's actually kind of a word picture of what Christ and his church are supposed to be on this earth.  Christ unselfishly gave himself up for his church so that she would be a "radiant church-without stain or wrinkle..." (Eph 5:27)  We are called to love each other in an unselfish manner.  Which brings me to the next principle.
2. Great marriages display unselfish love.  As a husband, my attitude cannot be that "my wife is around to fulfill my every need."  I'm not looking for her to make me "feel good about myself."  However, my attitude is to love her completely and unconditionally, regardless of her response.  I referred to Eph 5:25 above.  Here's the whole verse:  "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."  I'm to give myself up for her.  She's to give herself up for me.  A great marriage is found when both of these things happen. Yet, my attitude simply cannot be, "Well, I'll give myself for her if she gives herself up for me.  My love for her is unconditional.  And I'm thankful that her love for me is unconditional.  
3. Great marriages make each other the focus of their lives.  As a Christian, Kathy knows that Christ is my #1, but that she is my #2.  And I'm thankful that I'm her #2 as well!  So, outside of our devotion to Christ, we are the focus of each other's lives.  She tries to please me.  I try to please her.  When our kids were little, they were a vitally important part of our lives.  However, they had to take a back seat to our marriage.  This may seem wrong to some people.  It seems like you should sacrifice yourselves for your kids.  In some ways, this is right.  We as parents will go to all ends to make sure our children our safe and secure.  However, Kathy and I knew that without a strong marriage in place, our children would suffer.  I see so many couples make the terrible mistake of making their children the focus of everything.  The children are the byproduct of the marriage-not the other way around.  Your love for each other came before the kids came. Without a strong marriage, not only do the adults suffer, but the kids suffer too.  Moms, there's nothing more important that you can do for your kids than to love their dad.  Dads, there's nothing more important that you can do for your kids than to love their mom.  There's just no doubt that kids thrive in a home where their parents abound in love for each other as well as for their kids.  Additionally, how are your children going to know what a great marriage is if they don't see it in your marriage!  In our case, I'm convinced that one of the things that Kathy and I had going for us was that we saw great marriages in our homes growing up.  My parents were married for forty-two years before my mom passed away and Kathy's parents will soon celebrate fifty-three years together.  We saw how it worked growing up.  Do your kids see how it works in your home?

What to read more?  Here's a Link to Part 2 

Want to read more?  Here's links to some of my more popular posts:

Lincoln & Obama-Two Views of Welfare

TR on Lincoln-The Great Statesman

Put It On My Account

Free Pastor Saeed!

Many of you may be aware of the recent plight of the Iranian pastor Youcef Nadarkhani, who was unjustly imprisoned in Iran for three years after his conversion to Christianity.  Thankfully, because of an outpouring of international support on his behalf, he was freed recently.  You may not be aware that there is actually an American pastor who is now being held in Iran.  His name is Saeed Abedini.  He was born in Iran, and became part of the house church movement there after his conversion to Christianity in 2000.  He left Iran in 2005 to escape persecution and became an American citizen in 2010.  He has made numerous trips back to Iran since then.  Last September, he was arrested in Iran while on a humanitarian mission to help build an orphanage.  In January, he was sentenced to eight years in Iran's most notorious prison.  His charge was that he has been “creating a network of Christian house churches” and, therefore, “attempting to sway Iranian youth away from Islam."  He is being tortured in prison as I write this.  Although our government has been very slow in responding to this outrage, Secretary of State John Kerry has issued a strong statement on his behalf.  But, of course, much more needs to be done.  

I would ask you to consider doing the following, which I have done:

• Please pray daily for Pastor Saeed and his precious family
• Please sign the petition from ACLJ to free Pastor Saeed:  You can access this from this link:  http://bit.ly/WTyQtD
• Consider writing the U.S. State Department and White House on behalf of this pastor
• Please share this post with your Facebook and Twitter friends

I believe that if enough people respond, this pastor will be released.  Just imagine if this were you, your husband, your son, your father.  Wouldn't you work tirelessly to get him out?  I ask you in Christ's name to do what you can.  Thanks and God bless you!

P.S.  For more information about this, please read or listen to Eric Metaxas' excellent commentary on Pastor Saaed's imprisonment. You can also listen to an emotional interview with Pastor Saeed's wife from this website.   Here's the link:  http://bit.ly/WHlgIG


3-1-13  Update-ACLJ has now recorded over 300,000 signatures in a petition to bring about Pastor Saeed's release. You can still sign this petition by clicking the link above.  His wife has recently written a moving letter on behalf of her husband.  You can access a link to her reading of this letter here.  Please continue to pray for this pastor and his family!


3-14-13 Update-ACLJ is now approaching 500,000 signatures!  Tomorrow, 3-15-13, there will be a Congressional hearing on Capitol Hill on Pastor Saeed's situation.  ACLJ Chief Counsel Jay Sekulow, among others will be testifying.  Please help them get to 500,000 signatures and pray for this hearing!

Want to read more?  Here's links to some of my more popular posts:
Lincoln & Obama-Two Views of Welfare
TR on Lincoln-The Great Statesman
A Christmas Story-Put It On My Account
Reflections On 30 Years of Marriage-Part 1

2012-What's Going On Here?

 Consider the following headlines concerning 2012 events in America:

• According to USA Today, 2012 may be known as "The Year of The Cheater," with such high-profile figures like Lance Armstrong and Gen. David Petraeus being caught up in cheating scandals.    "Dishonesty Was On Display Everywhere In 2012"  http://usat.ly/W3B318
• The U.S. is about to hit the debt ceiling limit on Monday, Dec. 31.  The national debt at the end of the year stands at a staggering 16.4 trillion dollars.  http://on.wsj.com/VgWVGQ
• Unless Congress acts by the end of the year, we are poised to go off a "fiscal cliff" to begin 2013. According cbsnews.com "it could lead to recession, a big jump in unemployment and financial market turmoil..." http://cbsn.ws/W3CAo6
• 2011 and 2012 now rank as the two costliest years for natural disasters in U.S. history.  While 2011 included 14 billion-dollar weather events, 2012 followed in close behind with 11 billion-dollar events.   According to The Guardian newspaper, "The 11 billion-dollar events of 2012 include seven severe thunderstorm outbreaks, two hurricanes, the drought and wildfires. NOAA put the death toll from these events at 349."  The clean-up from Superstorm Sandy could easily reach over 100 billion, and the bill for the 2012 drought could be far bigger.  http://bit.ly/ZDzSxq
• According to an AP poll, mass shootings in America was the top 2012 story on the minds of Americans.  After twelve people were killed in a theater in Aurora, CO on July 20, the second-worst school shooting in American history took place in Newtown, CT on December 14, when a deranged gunman broke into Sandy Hook Elementary School and massacred 26 people, including 20 school children.  http://stjr.nl/Uos65s
• Americans went to the polls in November and re-elected Barack Obama for a second term, re-installing the most pro-abortion, anti-family, and fiscally irresponsible administration in U.S. history (see this link to my post in October- http://waynenalljr.blogspot.com/2012_10_01_archive.html)

This list doesn't even include the possible pending implosion of European markets due to the Greek debt crisis, which could have dire repercussions on an already weak American economy.  Nor does it include the disasters in Syria and Benghazi, Libya, or the increasing likelihood of the Middle East exploding into war as Iran seeks to acquire a nuclear weapon.

Even the most optimistic person has to look at 2012 and shake their head.  Scandals, political gridlock, massive natural disasters, mass killings...and on and on.  We have to ask, "What's going on here? While we in America have certainly faced our share of difficulties in the past, it's evident to me that the number and scale of catastrophic events in the past few years has risen dramatically.  You would have to a card-carrying member of Head-In-The-Sand Society to refuse to acknowledge that these are not normal times! But what does it all mean?  And, what, if anything, can we do about it?

Would it surprise you to know that you likely have a book in your house that predicted this very scenario?  If you have a Bible, look at these words of Jesus, which he spoke almost 2,000 years ago:

 ^"For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and in various places there will be famines and earthquakes."  Matt 24:7

"Because lawlessness is increased,most people’s love will grow cold."Matt 24:12

“Nation will rise against nation and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be great earthquakes, and in various places plagues and famines; and there will be terrors and great signs from heaven." Luke 21:10,11

Jesus spoke often in his ministry of The Last Days, a time of great world-wide tumult right before his return.  He predicted that there would be great wars (the two most costly wars in world history were fought in the last 100 years), earthquakes (six of the top ten earthquakes in world history in terms of deaths have taken place since 1900 http://nbcnews.to/Vk9VyG), famines and plagues.  

Jesus also predicted that the love of many in the church would grow cold in the last days.  Those of us who are part of that church can readily see that prediction is sadly being fulfilled today.  Liberal theology has sapped the strength of many once-great religious institutions, while entertainment-driven megachurches often give a watered-down version of the gospel to those seeking for truth. Even among bible-believing Christians, there is a lack of fervor and a passive indifference to the plight of those around us who need the light that Christ graciously gave to us in the gospel. 

Consider these words from Paul's second letter to Timothy:

"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power..." II Timothy 3:1-5 (NKJV)

Sounds a lot like the world today, don't you think?

So what should we do in response to these "perilous times?"

First of all, while we acknowledge that these are difficult times and we may very well be headed into much worse times, I believe that there is no reason to despair.  You see, Jesus (and others) gave us these prophecies for a reason, and that reason is so we would be ready and not be taken unaware.

I'd like to outline a few things that we are doing and that you may consider doing as preparation for difficult times:

1. Be prepared financially-For those dealing with financial debt, this would be an excellent time to work hard at disposing of it.  If we face an economic implosion, I believe those who owe the least may fair much better through the crisis than those who are burdened down with debt.
2. Stock up on food staples-The pastor of the church which I attend has been encouraging us for months to build up a family food supply, so that if we have a natural disaster or a financial implosion, we will have something to fall back on. I think he's right.  As a Christian, I also want to have enough to give to others in need if we face a time in America when food becomes scarce or expensive.  
3. Be prepared spiritually-  This one is far more important than any physical preparations we might make.   His church in America is in a very weak and cold condition overall right now, but even now Jesus is calling out those who he wants to bring to himself. It's a time to really get serious with God, imploring Him in brokenness and repentance to send revival to His apostate church. Prayer and fasting are two of the spiritual disciplines that I believe the Lord is calling His true believers to right now.  I'm praying for a Third Great Awakening, not unlike the Great Awakening in America in the 18th century and the Second Great Awakening in the 19th century.  I believe that He wants to bring His church into a state of true spiritual revival before His return.

Jesus said, "...keep on the alert at all times, praying that you may have strength to escape all these things that are about to take place, and to stand before the Son of Man."  (Luke 21:36)

It's possible that these things may seem extreme to you.  If so, I understand.  However, would it have been extreme a few months ago if someone had gone through the Northeast telling people to be prepared to be without power not for days, but for weeks or even months?  It might have sounded extreme, but that's exactly what happened when Superstorm Sandy hit.  A month ago, it would have sounded extreme to suggest that schools post armed guards, but it doesn't sound extreme at all to me after the Sandy Hook tragedy.  

I hope I'm wrong.  I hope that we have more time.  However, if I am wrong and people take the advice above, they will still be better off than they were before.  If I'm right, well...

One other piece of advice.  The above is addressed primarily to believers in Christ.  However, if you are not a believer, please consider the claims of Christ and don't blow them off.  I would suggest that you read the Bible---the Book of John is a good place to start.  Another good resource is "The Case For Christ" by Lee Strobel.  ( http://amzn.to/WW6r8n) Strobel was an investigative journalist and an atheist who was honest enough to study the claims for Christ for himself.  He became a believer and wrote this book describing his spiritual quest.  Finally, I would be glad to talk to you myself about the claims of Christ.  I would be delighted to help you in your spiritual journey.

As I stated above, this is no time for despair,  but I believe it is a time to get ready.  Actually, it's kind of exciting, because all these things portend the Second Coming of Christ, a time when he will call all believers home to be with him. Something to look forward to!


Want to read more?  Here's links to some of my more popular posts:
Lincoln & Obama-Two Views of Welfare
TR on Lincoln-The Great Statesman
A Christmas Story-Put It On My Account
Reflections On 30 Years of Marriage-Part 1

A Christmas Story

"Put It On My Account"

It was three days before Christmas.

A middle-aged lady came into the tire store where I work to get her free tire rotation, which comes with a vehicle inspection.

The tech gave me the completed ticket so that I could check her out.

"Be sure to notice the inspection report," he said.

The inspection report is very detailed.

This vehicle needs a lot of work.  

Tires and alignment. 

Front brakes and rotors. 

Rear brakes and rotors.

Wipers.

"Your vehicle needs some work," I explained to the lady.

Her eyes got big.  

"What kind of work?"

I started with the wipers, thinking I need to break it to her gently.

As I went through the list with her, I could see her shoulders start to sag.  The more I read, the more she slumped down.

"Can you tell me how much?"  I give her a rough estimate.  She slumped further.

I'm thinking, "Am I going to have to call the paramedics?"  I'm worried.

"Can you print this out for me?" she asked.  I worked up a completed estimate, giving her all the discounts I could think of. Still, it's a big bill.

 When she sees the completed bill, she just broke down and sobbed.

"I just lost my husband."  She has no money.  No way to get the money.

I put my arm around her gently.  I felt almost as down as she was.   Inside I'm crying "Lord, you've got to help this lady!"  Feeling so helpless.

I tried to wish her a Merry Christmas as she left, but it kind of fell flat.  I felt terrible.  "Lord, you've got to help this lady!  It's right before Christmas!"  

A local businessman was standing off to the side.  I didn't realize he had heard the whole thing.  He came up to me. 

"Do you think she's legit?"  he asked me.  "I mean, I know you see a lot of people trying to take advantage."  I explained to him that I have no doubts that she's legitimately in need. She didn't ask me for anything.

He looked up at me...

"Put it on my account."

I looked at him...

"Do you know how much this is?"  I showed him the bill.

"Just put it on my account."

I'm incredulous.

.

"Don't tell her who its from," he said with a wry smile.  "Secret Santa."

I called the lady and left a message for her to call back.  When returned the call, we gave her the good news.

"Are you sure?"

"Am I hearing you right?"

We assured her that she heard right, and set up an appointment for her to get the work done after Christmas.

Fifteen minutes later, the phone rang.  It’s her again.

"Are you sure?"  

"I don't have to pay anything?"  

No. It's a free gift.  No strings attached...

Joy!

...

As I've reflected on this incredible story since then, I've thought about what Christmas is all about.  

You see, you and I had a bill much greater than the lady with the broken-down car.

"Even when you were dead in sins..." 

Every hurtful act.  Every hurtful thought.

"For the Son of man came to seek and to save that which was lost."

You and I couldn't pay.  

Lost.  

Without hope.

That's where the Christmas story comes in.  God came to earth to pay what you and I had no hope of paying.  Thirty-three years after the Babe in the manger, the price was paid on a cross of wood outside the Jerusalem city gates.

"...though He was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich."

"Put it on my account."

That's what Jesus did for me...and for you.

But what if the lady had said, "Thanks, but no thanks!  I can handle this on my own."

Crazy thought!  Why would she turn down the free gift?   No strings attached.  No way for her to pay on her own.

What about you?

The price has been paid.

"It is by grace you have been saved...through faith."

"Put it on my account."

Jesus paid it all.

All to Him I owe.

Sin had left a crimson stain.

He washed it white as snow.

He put it on His account...for you.   No strings attached.  

But you have a decision to make.  

Will you accept the gift that has so freely been given to you? 

Will you accept the free gift...this Christmas?

Wayne Nall Jr.


For another inspirational lift, check out my new book, "Grace In Shoe Leather." It's an amazing story of grace and forgiveness that has made a difference in the lives of so many. You can download it here: http://amzn.to/1wLL5Mw   P.S. It's FREE TODAY!!!!


Want to read more?  Here's links to some of my more popular posts:
Lincoln & Obama-Two Views of Welfare
TR on Lincoln-The Great Statesman
Reflections On 30 Years of Marriage-Part 1

Hosea and The 2012 Election

In my personal Bible study time each morning, I've been reading through the Old Testament prophets.  The last few days I've been reading the prophetic book of Hosea.  Hosea was a man called of God to preach a message of judgement and a call to repentance to the people of Israel about 2700 years ago.  His words were not received well then, and the people to whom he was speaking  refused to hear his message.  As a result, they (the people of the northern 10 tribes of Israel) were taken into captivity by Assyria just a few years later and would be destroyed as a people.

On a day after our countrymen willingly embraced a presidency which which is pro-abortion, anti-God, and anti-marriage, I read these words, which ring out through the millenia to us today:  Speaking of Israel (and I think, America today) Hosea writes:

"Their deeds will not allow them to return to their God.
For a spirit of harlotry is within them.
And they do not know the Lord."  Hos 5:4

"They will go...to seek the Lord, 
but they will not find Him:
He has withdrawn from them." Hos 5:6

"(Israel) is oppressed, crushed in judgement,
Because he was determined to follow man's command."  Hos 5:11

"I will go away and return to My place
Until they acknowledge their guilt and seek My face:
In their affliction they will earnestly seek Me."  Hos 5:15

"My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge..." Hos 4:6

Strong words!  Yet as I have read these words today, I can't help but believe they are true for us as well.  I believe that judgement is coming to America.  We have forsaken God, and He has promised to withdraw Himself from those who willingly refuse Him.  I don't know what all this means for us in the future, but we as Christians need to be more prepared to be salt and light in this dark world than ever before.  Isn't it true that a candle glowing during the day will get little attention, but in the pitch black of night it becomes a beacon to all who will follow it?  Whatever the future holds, I want to be that light to those around me.  I want my life to be like life-preserving salt.  And I want to point to the One who holds out hope to those "who acknowledge their guilt and seek His face!"

As I wrote last night after the results of the election became known, I am not in despair, and, if you are a Christian, neither should you be!  The writer of Hebrews speaks these words to us, which are as true today as they were almost 2,000 years ago:

"Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need..."  Heb. 4:16

"...we who have taken refuge...have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us.  This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast..." Heb. 6:18,19