How To Be A Lukewarm Christian

“Lukewarmness” seems to be in vogue within the Christian community these days.  Apathy is in.  Yet it may be that some don’t understand all the intricacies of achieving lukewarmness in one’s relationship with Christ.  If you desire to be lukewarm and apathetic in your commitment to Christ, or if you already are lukewarm and would just like to progress in your lukewarmness, this article is definitely for you!

Below you will find a few tips on how to become a lukewarm Christian:

Devotional Life

• ·         If you have to have a devotional life at all, make sure that it is hurried and as quick as possible.  Don’t make a commitment to wake up early to spend time with God.  Develop a harried routine in the morning in which you have no time to listen to His “still, small voice.”
• ·         Don’t get into the habit of daily Bible reading.  One of the dangers of this pernicious practice is that God might bring conviction to your heart through His word, actually repentance might occur, and before you know it, your lukewarm condition will be a thing of the past!
• ·         If you must read your Bible daily, don’t read more than a verse or two – preferably out of context.  A verse-a-day Bible app is great for this.  On the other hand, such a Bible app is of no value in developing lukewarmness is you accompany it with substantial Bible reading later in the day. 
• ·         If you must pray at all, only pray for yourself and your family...and perhaps your friends.  Focus on self is quite the rage nowadays among apathetic Christians.  As one of their kind, you will do well to follow this trend.
• ·         Avoid taking time to be grateful to God for His many blessings in your life.  This will ramp up your prayer life…something no lukewarm Christian would desire to do.
• ·         Avoid praise and adoration.  This is so important.  If you develop a habit of regularly praising God in the privacy of your own home, you might find yourself praising Him publicly in the church service…which you irregularly attend.  This can be very embarrassing.
• ·         Avoid praying without ceasing, as Paul directs sincere Christians to do (1 Thess 5:17).  This direction from that non-lukewarm Christian meant to develop a heart turned towards God at all times during the day.  A quick, hurried prayer in the morning will do nicely.
• ·         Spend time watching questionable TV programs and movies.  What does this have to do with developing a lukewarm devotional life?  Everything!  You see, those images stay with you  and you take those images into your prayer closet (if you have such a thing.)  They discourage prayer and must be repentented of if one has a desire for a vibrant prayer life (which, of course, you don’t!)

Church Attendance

• ·        Don’t be committed to a single church.  Church hopping is very helpful in developing an apathetic, listless life in Christ.  If something doesn’t strike your fancy at one church, (the music program doesn’t do anything for you, the pastor preaches to long, someone didn’t speak to you, etc.), just move on to another one.  There are lots of churches out there.  You won’t ever find the perfect church of course, as they are all made up of imperfect people.  However, don’t dwell on the fact that you are imperfect as well!
• ·         If you do have to be committed to one local body, don’t attend church regularly.    I would suggest that on Sunday morning you look for any reason at all to miss going to God’s house.  The Enemy (who is really the Friend to lukewarm Christians) will aid you greatly in this, as he will provide you with all kinds of reasons to “forsake the assembling of ourselves,” (as the Bible commands in Hebrews 10:25).  He may provide you with a slight cold or headache, or he might send a long-lost friend over at the last  minute to cause you to miss church.
• ·        If your church has mid-week service, don’t bother to show up for them.  In our local body, God has provided us with a Tuesday night prayer meeting and a Wednesday night bible study.  Many churches have small group Bible studies in their homes.  Attending these type of meetings can be devastating in your attempt at being lukewarm.  Avoid these gatherings at all costs!
• ·        Don’t think about preparing your heart for Sunday worship on Saturday evening.  Make
  
  sure you stay up late watching some worthless TV program or go out partying, so that you feel tired and listless when you wake up Sunday morning.  If you do drag yourself out of bed to go to church, you’ll probably miss most of what the Holy Spirit is trying to say to the congregation because you are so tired.  This is exactly what you want as an apathetic Christian.
• ·        Related to this, develop a habit of showing up to church late.  Though it’s no big deal to show up late occasionally, be that person that always shows up late every Sunday…or every Sunday that you come.  This will be especially disheartening to the pastor or worship leader.  In some churches half the crowd doesn’t show up on time…a great sign of a lukewarm church!
• ·        Whatever meetings you attend at your local church, make sure you get out as soon as the meeting as over.  Don’t stay and fellowship with others.  This might be encouraging to your walk with Christ.  If you want to develop this to an even finer level, leave promptly at 12 (or even a little before) even if the meeting is not over, so that you can get a good seat at the local restaurant.  After all, we do have priorities!
• ·        If you do have to stay and fellowship with others, make sure you talk about worldly things…last night’s ball game (which you stayed up late to watch), the latest fashion trends, etc. 
• ·        If you have to give to your local church at all, don’t make a commitment to tithe your income or anything like that.  Just give the little you can spare…Others can take up the slack and the preacher probably makes too much anyway!
• ·        If your church supports missions, don’t worry about being a part of that ministry.  Missionaries are probably doing just fine without our financial and prayer support.

Family Life

• ·        Don’t pray with your spouse or children on a daily basis.  This will bless your marriage and your home, something no lukewarm Christian would desire!
• ·        Don’t have regular meal times with your family…especially if you sincerely thank the Lord for your blessings before you eat.  (This is a pernicious practice that thankfully is rapidly going by the wayside in our enlightened 21^st century culture). 
• ·        Don’t have family devotions – reading the Bible or Bible stories to your children is not recommended at all.  They might actually have questions that you don’t know about the Bible, which would be embarrassing.  Also, you are too tired.
• ·        Don’t walk the walk in front of your kids.  This really goes without saying.  Like begets like.  Lukewarm Christians beget lukewarm Christians…Actually, your children will probably see your hypocritical lifestyle and won’t want anything to do with Christ when they grow up…exactly what you are going for!

These are just a few suggestions for those who want to live an apathetic, listless life as a so-called Christian.  We might add here to be sure not to share your faith with others, but that would be redundant.  Who would want the kind of faith you have anyway?

Of course, Jesus said “wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it” (Matthew 7:13),  and in Revelation 3: 17 He said of lukewarm Christians that He would "vomit them out of His mouth." As an apathetic Christian, you have chosen the most popular way, and it will certainly lead to hell if you continue on that road…However, you should take comfort in the fact that everyone else is doing it this way, so you will be in good company! 

However…

If on the other hand you want to live a life devoted to Christ, walking “the narrow way” (Matthew 7:13) that Jesus said leads to life…

If you want a life that matters to your family and to the world…

If you want keep the two great commandments that Jesus gave us to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and all your mind” and to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37-40)…

If you want to be a blessing to your local church body and to the body of Christ as a whole…

If you want to go to heaven and bring your family along with you…

Do the opposite of all this!

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